Relationships

                Every one of us in some shape or form, are in a relationship. Whether that means the relationship we have with ourselves, the one with our families, the one with our friends, etc.  And the basis of all relationships are built from the same thing- love. They also all have the same projections mirroring each other as what you may see in a romantic relationship. The jealousy, the fear, the control, whatever it may be. And it is our duty, as conscious observers of Self, to examine every relationship in our life and ask ourselves what purpose it holds.  

                Start asking yourself some questions. Do they love me unconditionally? Do they support me intellectually and spiritually? Do they motivate me to be the best version of myself? Are they positive people in general? The questions you ask yourself are going to be different for everybody, because everybody has their own way of receiving and expecting love. But start asking yourself some questions, and start examining all these aspects of your life.

                People like to separate their relationships with their families, friends, and lovers all into three different categories. Yes, there are different dynamics between the three but as far as how someone makes you feel on a soul level, there is no difference. Your heart doesn’t know categories like boyfriend, mom, friend; it only knows the way it feels when the other person is around, or when you think of the person. This is major in regards to who you surround yourself with.

                A lot of times we stay in friendships that don’t make us feel good, belittle us, or that we don’t really have that same connection with anymore. This could be because they’ve been our friend for so long and we’d feel bad for leaving the friendship, we think this is how “friendships” just are, or we are afraid to be friendless. But in a romantic relationship where our lover doesn’t make us feel good anymore, we have no problem eventually leaving the issue and calling it a “break up”. But feel we can’t “break up” with our friends, or even our family. So we stay in these relationships thinking that this is the way it has to be, thereby accepting limited love into our realities.

               We get involved in romantic relationships with people knowing beforehand that they aren’t everything we want in a partner but tell ourselves we shouldn’t have such high expectations, thereby settling for what’s currently being offered. This in turn leads to us unconsciously  getting upset with our partner for not living up to those standards we had initial the relationship- which the partner has no idea about. We think it’s our partner’s fault for not giving us the love we need, or not being the amazing person we thought they were, when in reality we knew exactly who they were when we met them. We just hoped some of those other aspects would change, would get better over time, or we’d get used to coping with.  We settled. And now we’re left in a relationship that makes us happy but not completely satisfied, and tell ourselves that this is love. 

               Now I’m not saying to go call everyone who doesn’t pour love onto you and tell them you want them out of your lives. First, ask yourself if you love yourself unconditionally, because that is the root to all the problems you are having with others not giving you unconditional love. Secondly, start thinking of those people that came in your mind while you were reading this, because most likely those are the relationships you need to take a second look at. Tell them how you’ve been feeling and listen to their response with an open heart; and if you already have told them and they’ve continued with it, they already gave you your answer. And third, don’t let the unknown possibilities of tomorrow deter your choices. No one should settle for any kind of relationship that doesn’t satisfy them completely. The more we make the choices to better the love we not only give ourselves, but receive- the more it’ll come.  

                Don’t be afraid to let go of whatever you need to let go of in your life. Only good can come of choosing the path of greater self-love. Everyone gives and receives love differently, so just because someone isn’t able to give you what you need, doesn’t mean they are incapable of love, it just means they are unable right now, to give you the love you need. But there are people out there that are. There are people that are able to give you the kind of friendship you’ve hoped your friend to give, or the type of love you yearn for from your lover. We need to stop settling for anything less than that.

                The more all aspects of our life align with the love we have within, the more abundant our life will become. Every single aspect of our life has the potential to be everything we want it to be. The only thing in the way of us attaining that is our courage to take those steps, and our faith to believe in them.

       Affirmation of the Day:

I am worth more than what I've settled for in the past

                                                                                                     ~TJ

Photos by: Taylor Overton Photography